Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
