He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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