my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
