dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
