i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
