I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize