If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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