I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
