watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
