i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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