i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
