Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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