remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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