Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
