The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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