the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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