Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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