My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
