Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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