Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
ttyl tear gas
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
