You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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