Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
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the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
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Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize