so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
