Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
