using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
