I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
