i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Pants are for mortals
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
