I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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