It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm at about main and main street
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
