once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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