Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
