stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
