Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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