i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
