so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
