I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
