I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
