Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He has the fingertips of a God
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