I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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