I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
