I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
