My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Drunk is not a location!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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