Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
