As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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