Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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