I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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