Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
