It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
