he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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