I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
