I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
