You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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