Don't you send me to vm
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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