holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
