seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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