its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I stole a fireplace last night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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