I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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