I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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