She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
